Content provided by a guest contributor.
Emotional Intelligence (EQ) is more important than IQ when working with other people. Are you able to be assertive without being aggressive? How do you respond to manipulation?
In today’s business world organisations do not compete with their products. They compete through using their most valuable resource, their people. Good interpersonal skills are vital to allow this to happen.
Well then what is EQ? EQ is the ability to read, understand and interact with people. How do you know if a person has a high EQ? Can you see it? It’s really more a feeling and noticing how they interact and behave in work or social situations.
While you are quietly waiting in the EQ Queue consider whether you have the following:
- Listening skills
- Questioning skills
- Ability to give instruction
- Ability to give and receive feedback
- Knowledge of self
Whether you have these skills or not will to a large extent determine your behaviour. Your behaviour will either enhance the interpersonal skills (IPS) process or damage it. If you have a high EQ it will be easy to establish rapport or trust. If you have a low EQ your behavior may contradict your verbal signals.
Remember, you control your behaviour!!!
The best communicators exhibit behavioural activity that matches the behaviour and body language of the person they are communication with. This is also called mirroring. Your behavior will be affected by your thoughts, feelings, attitudes, values and your current situation.
People will draw their own conclusions about you during the interpersonal process. These conclusions will be based primarily upon what they see - your behavior. This will impact upon how they feel about you and how they will respond to you.
Aggression is a behaviour feared by many of us! It’s no wonder as aggressive body language includes: Gritted or bared teeth, clenched fists, bulging eyes, pointing or stabbing fingers, high color and excessive combative gestures!
Elements of aggressive behaviour may exhibit as, outbursts of strong or violent emotions and excessive use if ‘I’ statements. Threats, negative language and confrontational personalized comments are made often with a complete disregard of the thoughts and feelings of the other party.
Manipulation is a form of aggression that is not always obvious. Sometimes it may be done onto you without you knowing! Manipulation builds a lack of trust and resentment. The most common ways of dealing with aggression are to fight back and defend yourself or to act submissively and remove yourself from the situation. Neither of these are long term behavioral solutions when dealing with aggressive people.
As a longer term solution we can respond to an aggressive situation or person by being assertive. What is assertiveness? Assertiveness is best described as standing up for your own rights without interfering with the rights and beliefs of others. Being assertive is useful when disagreeing with a superior about something which adversely affects you. It is being able to saying no to someone putting an unfair demand on you.
Are you quietly waiting in the in the EQ Queue?
Pearl Seigel is the “Main Woman” and a “Femmepreneur” at the Training Shop. Pearl holds a Masters Degree in Business Leadership (MBL), from the Graduate School of Business Leadership, University of South Africa. Pearl’s work experience includes marketing, branding, communication, consulting, training, accountancy and auditing. She has worked in many different business environments in retail and service industries.